“ More Than Just the Birds and the Bees”
Timing is a matter of balance, not telling children too much too early, before they’re interested or ready to understand. But also not waiting until they know too much from negative, incomplete and wrong sources. My wife had been preparing my daughter for years.
At age 2 she was learning the name of her private parts, age 5 where babies come from and age 9 my wife begin to explain how babies are made and how they are born. Age 10 she begin to explain a basic understanding of intercourse, there are some who would say this discussion was a little late but as a parent you have to judge the best timing on your child’s development. My daughter started going through puberty in the middle of her 11th year. I new i would have to talk to my baby girl soon. Talking to my twelve year old daughter was more difficult than the months I spent at Marine boot camp at Paris Island. The talk was mentally and physically challenging. I carefully thought of every word and every sentence.
I wanted my daughter to be comfortable. Just thinking about having this talk with baby girl, made my stomach hurt, but it was a conversation that should have taken place two years earlier. The stage was set, it was a lightly cloudy afternoon, and my daughter’s school bus was three minutes due. It begin to rain, it drizzled, and the sun peaked it’s way through the clouds. Rain and sunshine, was it a sign? Probably not. I saw her walking down the street, so innocently. I called to her, “Jasmyn” my daughter replied, Daddy are you going somewhere?” I replied “No, I need to talk to you.” “I just want you to know how proud I am of you; you’re doing so well in school.” Stalling I said to her, Jasmyn I know that little boys are starting to pay attention to you, and I know that you are beginning to notice them as well. I want you to know, these feelings are natural, and thinking about sex is also natural.
The look on my daughter’s face was of shock that I used the S word around her. So I began to explain the science of how men and women make love.
Some people think that sex is just two people rubbing up against each other. “Jasmyn I want you to know, that when a man and woman are together, it is a special thing meant to create life, it is a powerful force, a life energy.
It is a gift from God to create life. There is no such thing as a one night stand, when a man and woman are together, the energy that they create is the closest that they can get to the power of God. Jasmyn you are beautiful, but that is only a small percent of what every man and boy would desire from you.
I know alot of kids are talking about sex. Some may be having sex before they drive. Jasmyn, I don’t want you to have sex until you are 41 years old. My daughter laughed. I looked at her with such a serious expression, and then stated, well maybe not 41…..38. I’m not going to be able to stop your heart from being broken, or even stop you from having sex, so I want you to at least be knowledgeable, so that the decision will be a conscious one. However, before I go any further, let me state this fact, you are not to kiss, or even think about having sex, because you are too young. I should hope that you wait until you fall in love and get married.”
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